Again I recalculated familiar cages of a parquet. Fermentation (Unrest) backwards-forward on a corridor rather has bothered, and to a hall to go it would not be desirable. From time to time therefrom it was heard " !" On a shower (soul) it was sad if not to tell melancholy … Why? It is difficult to give the unequivocal answer though unless in my life there is something unequivocal?.
… Already a solid hour I wandered on a church corridor, all more deeply and more deeply plunging in the thoughts that all the same occurs (happens) to me why I feel it was uncomfortable … After all well! After all carried me as on wings! Why to soar has ceased? Perhaps wings somewhere has lost or who cut off? Why I? Why with me? Others come with a smile on the person (face), like joyful such, like everything is all right at them … Are not present, at me too everything is all right: relations good luck, the house, a family, work, service. But something not so! But what?.
Today has begun as usually. It (He) differed nothing from any other Sunday. The alarm clock has rung out on half an hour after working everyday life. A breakfast — my favourite fried eggs which I prepare itself and frequently still in a condition, and necessarily cup of fragrant coffee. After that regularity of morning comes to an end. It (She) is replaced by (with) vanity of gathering in church.
Further a stop.. Church. As always was not late. As always has come to receive with expectation something from the God … Familiar smiling persons (faces). Set the teeth on edge "How are you doing?" And I with the smile pasted on the person (face) and a question not giving (allowing) rest in a shower (soul). Yes, the gloomy picture … But to think of it there is no time: under the first shy chords I continue to the right and to distribute on the left the "Thank God!"
Native "Let's rise on our feet" any more does not irritate and does not jar on. It became for a long time an obvious sign on the beginning of service. Music also has burst. Musicians try to play very much. Sisters — very much to sing. The hall — to echo, while, of course, in half-forces as if being accustomed to a tonality and hardly recollecting words for a long time familiar songs … Have sung. Have clapped. Have sat down. Regulations, as in any way.
Now time to listen to the sermon. Behind chair — the pastor. Familiar features. The same eyes. The same voice. Habitual words. Habitual jokes … Looking at the pastor I suddenly...
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